Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg (then 17) and his tennis partner, Rogers Nelson (representing Harding High in St. Paul) made it to the Minnesota State Boys Doubles Tennis tournament in 1985 where they faced off in the first round against me and my partner, Matt Patterson (Eden Prairie). It was a gray and misty day, but Mitch was wearing tinted sunglasses. We split the first 2 sets, and came to a 6-6 tie in the 3rd set, forcing a tie-breaker. Mitch was to serve first; he tossed up the ball, but didn’t swing at it. Then he lay down and put the handle of his racket to his mouth and started mumbling into it, like it was a microphone. He then took three tennis balls and started juggling them while on his back. His partner came over to him and tried to coax him to keep playing the match. Their coach came over to them and asked if Mitch was OK. But Mitch stayed lying down, and spoke again (French this time) into the handle of his tennis racket. My partner later recounted a bit of what Mitch Hedberg was saying:

“Cerveaux Néanderthal mai ont été plus grands,
mais leur cerveau ont été faites principalement de pudding de tapioca:
C'est un fait connu.
C'est pourquoi ils n'ont pas survécu.”

His coach threw up his arms, yelled at Mitch, and walked away. Mitch’s partner then lay down on his back and starting juggling as well. When either of them would drop a ball, they would continue juggling like a mime. My partner and I found this amusing, and we also decided to lie down on our side of the court, pretending to juggle on our backs. After discussions with our coach, we said that we would not accept the opposing team’s forfeiture if their coach offered. We were all soon asked to leave the court to make room for the next scheduled match. It was decided that the match was annulled and that neither team would advance to the next round. A couple days later the Wachowski Brothers from Blue Earth became the 1985 MN State Boys Doubles Tournament champions.